Sugar-free caramel? Talk me through that one…..

Today’s walk threw up a number of questions as I sought to fill my head with something other than a fair amount of pain. I have alluded a couple of times recently to bugs that I have had at odd times since about mid-August but they haven’t been bugs as such, but kidney stones it seems. Quite uncomfortable for a few hours normally and, before anyone asks, yes I have been to the doctors and yes, I do have an ultrasound scan in the pipeline to check it’s nothing more serious, as well as pain in the pipeline, if you know what I mean. But these “bugs” come and go every few days – it has been two weeks since the last one so I shouldn’t be surprised that they flared up again today.

Of course, then that was damn inconsiderate of them to visit when I was walking, several miles from home. After resting for a coffee in Portchester (see questions 2 and 3 below), I decided not to phone home for a lift but to walk the two and a bit miles back towards Fareham to see if they would improve. Generally speaking, they got no worse and, perhaps through stubbornness as much as anything else, I walked all the way home, by which time I felt much better. Still some twinges and discomfort now but over the worst for this time. 17 miles in total, though I was planning for more like 23 on a day when I had set out at the remarkably early time of 10:20am, thanks to the clocks going back an hour. I had earlier walked through Titchfield village to see the preparations for Titchfield Carnival and, indeed, I saw lots of flags and bunting, and found the whiff of burgers in the air slightly tempting, but not sufficiently so to taste the wares. Apparently, the main events were not going to commence for an hour or so, so I continued on my way eastwards.

So what were those questions? Answers on a postcard, or any other medium…….

How is giving away a penalty “denying a goalscoring opportunity”? I would have thought, in the vast majority of cases, it is providing a goalscoring opportunity. The nuance here, for non-football fans, is that “denying a goalscoring opportunity” by a foul is an automatic sending off offence.

In the coffee shop which, incidentally was not one of the big chains, I asked for a skinny latte with caramel. Not for the first time, I was asked if I wanted sugar-free caramel. For once, I said yes but then couldn’t sense any caramel flavour at all. Given that caramel is “a beige to dark-brown confectionery product made by heating a variety of sugars” (Wikipedia) then perhaps sugar-free caramel is “nothing at all”. So if it is not just a confidence trick, what is sugar-free caramel?

If I am being charged £3.05, how is giving a five pence piece along with a five pound note “not helping”? The barista had already entered “£5.00” in order to work out the change of £1.95. Obviously making that up to £5.05 then just confused things….. Ok, I’ve given the answer to that one.

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