Well, Prime Minister, banning sheep is going a bit far, don’t you think?

Not for me a pleasant walk in sunny weather yesterday, no, after sorting out the money side of Saturday night and the various sponsorship forms, it was a Bank Holiday walk in the rain.

I had to laugh to myself as it started spitting, no more than that, at the apparent panic in other pedestrians getting their umbrellas up as quickly as if they were slugs and it was salt descending from the sky. It did eventually get heavy enough for the waterproof hood to be necessary.

A change in coffee outlet today, though one I have used a few times before, so much so that my loyalty card points reached that point today where I can get my next purchase for free.

I spent much of the walk considering the results and fall-out from the European Elections. A turnout of barely one-third does give hope to the main parties other than UKIP, but also a warning of the apathy among much of the electorate. I have heard calls to make voting compulsory, but I don’t think that’s the answer. Let them persuade us to vote (I did, by the way) rather than force us.

If there were to be compulsory voting, I would very much consider forming a “I don’t want to vote but they made me do it” Party. I would expect to win the General Election with an outright majority. All I need now are some policies ‘for the people’.
How about:

All non-smokers will be allowed to leave their desks for 5 minutes every hour to stand outside;

There will be a minimum belt height on all trousers, in public places, no lower than 1 centimetre below the first indication of buttock separation;

Anyone caught using a mobile phone while driving should have to witness (at close quarters) a driver attempting a manoeuvre of negotiating a left-hand corner while on the phone with a small child sized crash test dummy being propelled at slow walking pace across the road;

The weather forecast will be presented with confidence intervals. Any set of forecasts that fall outside these four times out of five consecutive days should force the broadcaster to lose their Approved Weather Forecaster badge;

Private roads patrolled by security guards should be built so that any schoolchild who has “forgotten their PE kit” or missed PE without a valid medical certificate can be dumped 10 miles away at Friday lunchtime, so they can walk back to school, thus ensuring they get sufficient exercise, whilst being safe from the disproportionately hysterical risk of being abducted;

Bridge, Scrabble, Backgammon and board games should be compulsory for two hours a week at junior and secondary schools, in order to teach children problem solving skills, instead of being trained to remember sentences from books.

OK, that’s just a start. A manifesto wasn’t built in a day. But all those sound like vote winners to me. Economic policy can come later.

Back to the walk and a comfortable total of 13 miles. Award for Lost Persons of the Day goes to the couple of old guys who pulled over near Warsash, trying to find the way to Hayling Island.


Who you lookin’ at?

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