Equestrian Psychology, anyone?

My new challenge. What IS that going to be?

When I was in my twenties, my thoughts on life were that, at the age of 40 or over, I would take another degree course completely different to any subject I’d studied before. That is, not Maths or Statistics or any subject with significant content in either or both of those. Of course, by the time you get to 40, 45 and so on, you have ties, financial commitments and family commitments and it’s not that easy to give up a decently salaried job to then study for three or more years (at what is now an exhorbitant cost). Weirdly, I have had recurring dreams for many many years on being back at school or university, often avoiding or skiving off a lesson, something I don’t think I ever did as a child! Ok, there was the odd day when I wasn’t feeling well but probably could have gone to school, but no outright skiving.

My thoughts at the time were that I would study something like History, particularly modern history, but with Matt close to going off to university this year (A Level results permitting) I thought I’d take a look at what would be available. Perhaps one of these:

Equestrian Psychology (Nottingham Trent University). Mmm, no. I’d be scared of the horses so they’d run roughshod over me.


Baking Technology Management (London South Bank University). Piece of cake.

Viking Studies (University College London). Norway would I do that one.

The Meaning of Life (Rhode Island School of Design). I gather that’s a tough course. Pass mark is 42%.

Surf Science (Cornwall College). I’d get board with that one.

Ethical Hacking (University of Abertay, Dundee). Now that’s a bit more up my street. Or perhaps your street, and I know where it is.

Puppetry (Royal Central School of Speech and Drama). Unfortunately, that’s not for me, there are strings attached.

Zombie Studies (University of Baltimore). Not a ghost of a chance.

The Phallus Course (Occidental College, Los Angeles). Er, no.

Underwater Basket Weaving (University of California). That would be clutching at straws. Wet ones, at that.

Philosophy and Star Trek (Georgetown University). Georgetown, I assume that’s Guyana. Maybe, I could boldly go there.

Contemporary Circus and Physical Performance (Bath Spa University). Run by clowns.

Cannabis Cultivation (Oaksterdam University, California). I gather that’s a higher degree.

Packaging (Michigan State University). I think they might have wrapped that one up by now.

Soviet Visual Propaganda (Rhode Island School of Design). Probably not, I’d have to be very well red to do that one.

Mortuary Management (Lindenwood University, Missouri). I think that would be the death of me.


No, it’ll be something else. I’ve always promised myself I would go back to teaching or lecturing after I retire but, what with the pressures about which every current pedagogue acquaintance delights in groaning to me, I might just break that promise. Keep thinking, Keith, keep thinking………perhaps a degree in Punning. I once entered a contest where I had to think up ten play-on-words and there was quite a decent prize. I hoped I’d win but no pun in ten did.

Coat. Got.


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